When pretzels are left in the presence of intense radiation, cinnamon, and sugar - tasty tumors can appear. What the EPA calls an "incident", marketing calls an "opportunity".
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Cold soup
- Remove plastic lid to portable soup.
- Remove metal lid on portable soup.
- Replace plastic lid.
- Place in microwave.
- Turn dial to "E".
- Wait 1 minute and 15 seconds until dial reaches "OFF".
- Remove soup.
If you don't see anything wrong with the steps that I took, then you too would have ended up with cold soup. It was a long morning.
Magic with quarters
Ok. Follow me here. This is a change machine in a movie lobby - right by some video games. It dispenses quarters, not tokens. Nothing exciting there. BUT WAIT! It is _magic_! Take a quarter and sign your initials on it. Insert it in the slot. Your quarter immediately falls through the machine... and comes out... A QUARTER! Ah, but the magic? Your signature is _gone_!
To test the powers of the machine I magically converted the same quarter consecutively to about 20 different commemorative states.
Applebee's
Ah, finally... after an eternity, the fiesta has arrived! Man am I starving... hold on... note the picture on the menu right behind that sad-ass salad. Has anyone ever seen the movie "Falling Down"?
Monday, August 28, 2006
Kids can be cruel
Sure, the other kids picked on Baxter because he was hairy... and because of his oversized head, but he still knew how to have fun!
Now Hiring...
Sure, I like spreading humor... that's what this site is for. But frankly, I'm just too lazy to remove the "C" from the sign.
Security
Forget mousetraps - when is someone going to make a better one of these? I don't need to eliminate rodents often, but I use one of these almost every day. Funny? Maybe not - but you know I'm right.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
With disaster comes irony
People I know lost a lot in the flood (including appliances), but no matter how tough the situation... you have to be able to see the humor when it comes along.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
A view from inside the Sarlacc
Here is the latest helpless bastard that has fallen victim and will be digested for a thousand years. If you are saying "what?" right now - don't feel bad, I had to look up the name on a Star Wars site...
"Ha ha ha... jabba da wookie"
About inside phrases
I'm a curious guy, so I dislike inside jokes. That's why things like this make me want to wait in the parking lot to ask... I can't even conceive of an explanation. I just have a feeling that it is safer behind this van than in front. Oddly though, this phrase wasn't on the grill reversed like "AMBULANCE"...
Town of what?
When you are casting something in steel, you would think that you might want to run your design past some people to check for readability... Or do you think the Canadian steel company that made this disliked their "neighbor to the South"?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Do not exit
On the surface this makes sense - but if you think about what the signs are telling you to do...
Aaaaaaaaaaaa!
"Honey are you ok, I heard there is someone going the wrong way on the highway."
"One? There are hundreds!"
Monday, August 21, 2006
Stairway to heaven
Well, considering these are the stairs from the parking garage to access all the college bars, perhaps this holy staircase only goes _down_... Anyone who has played the old-school 2-D game "Lemmings" should understand why this picture appeals to me.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
The Death of a Brilliant Ad Campaign?
Double label technology is superior technology... but alas, it seems like Molson may be getting rid of their quirky back-side labels. Their witty combination of text and image endeared the brand to me. I always saw my calling in life as head designer of labels...
I will be watching you
This is why they tell you to check your back seat before you get in your car... you never know who could be lurking back there!
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