Stop. Marvel for a moment. Have they gone too far? Nothing preserves your bad-ass image and street cred like having your head plastered on a candy dispenser. I think it's time to get a new manager if you can't at least get your mug on a bobble-head. Oh god, I can see the commercial for this now.
A dusty, leather-clad band of Hell's Angles rumbles up to a saloon. Close-up shot of a bike from ground level as the engine reluctantly cuts off... down goes the kickstand with the help of a chrome-tipped boot. Slowly it pans up the length of a chap-wearing ruffian, complete with massive belt-buckle engraved with the name "Khan". As the camera reaches his face he pulls off his limo-tint shades which leave a light tan-line in the road-grit on his face. He flicks a toothpick on the ground and dismounts.
As his compatriots file inside behind him, he addresses the camera. "You know, long days of riding and raising hell all night takes a lot out of a man". A former patron of the bar is tossed head-long out the screen door to the saloon. "But I have my own way of keepin' going". He reaches into his vest pocket and produces a small plastic toy. "Pez candy. Packed with energy and always convenient in my collectible Orange County Chopper dispenser". He pops one in his mouth and chews emphatically. "My hawg may be Harley, but my Pez is OCC". He turns to enter the bar and we see his vest is embroidered with "Pez or Death".
No comments:
Post a Comment