Friday, November 02, 2007

Puzzling


Some would be surprised to know that I found this gem in the parking lot of WalMart. I was at a loss as to what message they were going for. Perhaps some punctuation would alleviate my confusion.

  • You are special, Jesus Christ. - meaning "as the only begotten son of our creator, you are one unique guy" or "that water to wine trick - that rocked"

  • "You are special." - Jesus Christ - meant as a direct quote from the savior (and despite his easy going manner, JC knew a thing or two about sarcasm)

  • You are special, Jesus Christ? - questioning or not believing the first statement

  • You are special? Jesus Christ... - an exclamation of utter disbelief that you of all people are to be called special.

  • You are special. Jesus Christ. - (the most plausible) an overseas bumpersticker manufacturer wanted something that would sell with the thoughtless masses and came up with "You are special". Upon seeing they had a lot of room left and no budget for clipart, they tossed on another dead-ringer for increasing sales. It barely won out in customer testing to "Pray for peace LINDSAY LOHAN"


And let's not forget - you are unique... just like everyone else.

What's that? Why don't I have something witty to say about the school bus? Well, in that case I CAN UNDERSTAND THE BLOODY POINT! Namely "School's in session - we don't want your minivan on the cover of the newspaper sporting a AAA sticker and the article title 'Vehicular Manslaughter Charged in Case of 4th Grader'."

3 comments:

frosty said...

And yes, it would be impolite to make "Rindsay Rohan" jokes...

Anonymous said...

Damn it!!! I was all lined up with a good LL crack, and you go and take a good funny away-

frosty said...

Please note, despite the vast volume of Lindsay Lohan jokes, I doubt there is a website dedicated to them.
Personal favorite?
"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries."
'Though the #1 on the website is now in the running.