On Reviews and Fair Warning

Lord help us all... I have a new camera. I have replaced my Canon SD400 with (brace yourself) the Canon SD1000. I'm not all about the new and the cool, it was just time to finally do something about the fact that the 400's display was cracked.

This brings me to the topic of reviews. Speroni spoke of reviewing media, so let me share a few words on something I am passionate about: cameras.

First, the bad... the official, branded, black leather Canon camera case. I stored my venerable SD400 in a sleek little hip holster (sleek in a "I'm Batman" way) but looks aren't everything. It had a very secure magnetic closure - a cross between a magnet and a snap that you usually see on purses. It was easy to access and secure, but the male end of the snap was on the case's flap, so whenever I drew out the camera the snap would drag across the camera, scratching it.

Since the Canon SD series has very spiffy metal cases - mostly stainless steel - I took to storing the camera screen-out so that the snap (lightly) scratched the front casing instead of mucking up the screen. All fine and well - except the female portion of the snap embedded in the case falls directly on the LCD viewing screen. At some point pressure was put on the case which cracked the screen. And I thought the purpose of the case was to _protect_ the camera. Did I mention this was an official Canon accessory?

Fast forward through a lot of procrastination and we get to modern times. I was given (by a very generous elf) the bestest of the best in the Canon SD line - the SD900. Yep, the best is numerically less than the "almost best" SD1000. Don't ask me. This 10 mega-pixel, titanium cased beast packed a flash that could match the instantaneous energy output of a blue dwarf star. This latter feature was actually a point of criticism - the flash would appear to wash pictures out a bit (but man would it help in fighting vampires).

The thing that turned me off was the size. With the 10 mpix came larger optics. With that came a curvier case than the SD400, but a noticeably bulkier size. Also, despite sporting a lightweight titanium case (so light-skinned I thought it was plastic at first), the specs say it weighs around half a pound. I got so far as buying a case for the 900 - mind you, the Canon cases are designed the same way still, so it was after market - and you knew when this bad boy was on your hip (as a friend pointed out, personal defense is an option when swung by the carry strap).

My specific deal to get the SD900 involved returning my old SD400 (his name is Charles) to Canon's refurbishing department for them to keep. Ultimately, nostalgia won out and when push came to shove, it was the sleek SD900 that ended up being shipped back. Call me a sap.

So, finding myself in the same situation I started, I bought outright the Canon SD1000 (well, the aforementioned elf did anyway). This is the good part of the review. I am thrilled with the SD1000. It is the same size as the 400, but with more flush screen and controls (not at all annoying - as it might first appear) it appears even _smaller_. After all, shouldn't new versions of technology be _smaller_ than their predecessors?

The feature-set is the best Canon has to offer. It has an automatic mode that will get you through most point-and-shoot situations. In low light or very mixed light situations there are "manual" modes you can use. In these you can control exposure level, ISO (up to 1,600 - of course it gets grainy at the higher settings), and coloring (not just sepia and B&W - it has full Photoshop-ish controls built-in). You can adjust lighting quality for various outdoor and indoor situations (this makes a world of difference in situations like "florescent").

There are pre-set specialized modes like "Indoor", "Snow", and "Fireworks". I am a personal fan of the "night snapshot" setting which both uses flash then instantly adjusts to capture existing light. This is meant for getting a clear shot of a tourist in the foreground of the Eiffel tower at night, but works for rich colors in all sorts of situations (if you have a steady hand).

There are other "way-cool" features - many not on the SD400. There is multi-target face recognition (anyone see the "your father isn't a horse's ass" commercials?) that goes so far as to assign the photo to the "People" category (yes, it has multiple categories like "Scenery" that you can tag photos with for organization). There are all sorts of timer settings - you can set a custom timer to wait 7 seconds then take 3 pictures. The details are everywhere - you can even choose the type of transition the photos do when flipping through the review mode. With this camera you will be doing a lot of "hey, come check this out" for a while.

Let's get down to brass tacks though - how well does it take pictures? Image quality is excellent - I trust Canon above all other brands in this department. I'll go head to head with any other brand on the quality of point-and-shoot photos. The flash is ample, without being overwhelming (flash intensity settings would be nice). I don't have much detail in this all-important area of review, that's because this camera (as the 400 before it) just shoots great photos - in all sorts of lighting conditions (especially if you know how to use manual shooting modes).

The SD1000 is a 7 mega-pixel camera, which is more than ample for me (and if you are reading this - more than ample for you too). While I don't need more pixels, it does have one side benefit - a digital zoom that you can use. The swan at the top of the post was shot beyond the 3x optical zoom - it was maxed out to about 12x. The viewfinder saw the swan as a blurry mess at that zoom level, but the resulting picture speaks for itself.

I shoe-horned the camera into an equally sleek looking Lowepro Napoli 5 camera pouch. It also has a magnetic closure, but no exposed metal parts and nothing but posh padding to caress the camera when it is holstered. Did I mention the Canon brand case is still designed the same (defective) way?

I don't know what "compact point-and-shoot" is supposed to entail according to the professionals, but the Canon SD1000 gives you point-and-shoot "plus" in a sub-compact package. If you are looking for a digital camera and have $150 (as of now) - then you will not be disappointed by the SD1000. Nay, I guarantee you will be thrilled with this quality camera.

Oh, and this development means good things for frosty moments from a photo-blog perspective (get it - "development" - what would you all do without me?)...

Overheard Christmas Carol

You better watch out... you better not die. Santa Claus is coming to town...

From the mouth of babes...

Meta-Comments

Very few people are partaking of the free breakfast in the hotel lobby at 6:30 on a Saturday. BTW, I have chosen to move my waking time to 6am... it's interesting how that one half hour makes the perceived difference between "early" and "super-early". Not that there is reason to brag either way - I have become conscious of the number of people that get up at that time or earlier.

I am thrilled to have so many thought-provoking comments waiting for me... Speroni actually brought it to my attention that they were accumulating. I get the feeling that I am off-sync with when I post vs when everyone is looking for something to read online... but I bet that works out ;)

I have spent most of the time available to me this morning replying to comments on my "Life's Purpose is Beauty" post. In light of this (and because of it's length) I will double-duty it as my post today. It is sectioned by reply to each of the commenters.

Speroni

An accurate summary of the post (a chosen purpose of appreciating beauty - in the face of purposelessness), but not a statement of my chosen purpose - just a proposed purpose... a hypothesis. The style of my personal writing has consciously become less equivocal - I drop the perhaps'es and the maybe's. I make statements as if they are fact and then see where they lead - what are their implications. When a question occurs to me I record it and then answer it in real time. The point is to not take excerpts from my personal writing as fixed beliefs of mine.

I see your question as a bit of a tail chase or non-question... since art is assumed to be a subset of existence - which is objectively purposeless. Though that assumption bears scrutiny in light of our discussion. If by existence we are talking "reality" - then yes, beauty and art are subsets. This line of thinking is more of a zen bent - looking at the world with an equal eye - realizing that it is all clockworks of a sort - all things purposeless and exactly purposeful at the same time. I think I just got a taste of what the Eastern philosophy intends by holding conflicting thoughts in your head. Yin/Yang balance. (but there is still issue with seeking mental oblivion)

No disparagement perceived... I'm not saying perception or creation of beauty is an objective reason for being. I re-iterate that there is no _objective_ purpose. But a chosen purpose - that is something else. There are many that have made art their purpose in life.

In conclusion: Ohh, so fish-people, by dint of being fish-people are less disciplined than non-fish-people?

Missy

Your comment sparked insight for me... These introspective sessions have a theme: I will detect a pattern in reality - like the hierarchy of organisms - but when it comes to facing the natural conclusion of that pattern when applied to humanity, I fall pray to the same egocentricity that put the Earth at the center of the universe. This applies here... If you propose that all things - including the circle of life in nature - are beautiful, how can you then draw the line at human behavior?

The natural implication is that the barbarism of man can be viewed from the same angle as the "cold" actions of other animals. The only reason for feeling there should be an artificial line between humans and other animals is ego. It is even absurd to separate "the circle of life" from us. Just because we live in climate-controlled asphalt jungles doesn't mean we follow any different rules than everyone on the savanna.

One answer to the dilemma is to refer to the contrast / juxtaposition aspect of beauty. By saying that light is only perceivable in contrast to dark, it does not mean that the dark (the vicious) is beautiful... it allows for some things to be not-beautiful. But yes, because the not-beautiful is necessary for us to perceive the beautiful - are they not beautiful to some extent themselves? Is the light metaphor broken? We can perceive blinding light in absence of contrast... ah, but would we be able to if we _never_ had perceived darkness / contrast?

If there is some sort of limitation on seeing beauty - it would be self-imposed. It takes only putting down your assumed framework - your box - and accepting the broader view. It means taking a bigger box and saying "if I were to put everything I experience into this box, how would it fit. This is a great summary of how to see new viewpoints - a fortunate discovery.

Anonymous

I couldn't agree more that humans "invent" to fill the gaps we feel. I have often summarized God as "the answer to questions we don't have an answer to yet". There is a battle - between subjective and objective reality. My faith is that there is an objective reality - that there is "one way things are" - but what happens when you believe that reality is subjective? Or that there is a benevolent deity that reacts to your will? These latter beliefs may promote personal happiness. What's really interesting is that should I accept one as true, I would probably see evidence to support it.

This raises the question - is the belief in objective reality like the pessimism that I am working to eliminate? If assuming things will work out makes them work out, should I not (in absence of other evidence) assume that there is purpose to existence and see how that impacts my life? I have railed so long against "deluding myself" - why should I assume that the negative is more likely to be real? I am starting to grasp what Pavlina means by "holding different beliefs in your head"... even conflicting ones. Is it all a choice? I have done this in the past to an extent - seeing intellectually a deterministic universe, but having to live as if there is free will. I saw that assuming free will is far more beneficial.

A developing belief of mine is that there is an objective Reality (with "rules" that are impossible to defy), but you can live "out of harmony with Reality" (have goals / motivations that conflict with it). When you are in harmony with Reality, your wellness is promoted. When you are out of harmony "bad things happen to you" - there are negative side affects. As in assuming there is free will, I perceive value in assuming purpose. Wouldn't it be advisable in light of evidence to assume purpose and see what the result of that is? Especially since I currently assume there is no purpose (because I can't perceive one / reason one out) - but it is not a provable hypothesis either way. The only arbitration I can think of is to act on the belief and see the results I receive.

Currently I assume no purpose, but in a way, I am displeased with the over-all quality of my living (that's why I'm working to improve) - doesn't it seem logical that adopting the equally valid and opposite assumption "there is innate purpose to life" could provide an improvement of life quality?

As a side note, I do have to disagree on separating humanity from all other life. There is no reason to think animals don't have choice - it may be less developed, as their reasoning abilities are - but like many things, it is a continuous scale. The scale overlaps - the most aware apes surpassing the most mentally debilitated humans.

--------------------------

Since I just about wiped out this entire post, I think I'll get it online before I make another mistake ;)

Life's Purpose is Beauty

Here is an excerpt from my recent writing. It stems from reflecting on exactly what "purpose" is.

What is a purpose? Is this a purely human concept? Do all things "just exist"?
Purpose is the answer to a "why does this exist".
Why do humans exist? To perpetuate? Is the difficulty caused by separating humanity from the rest of life?
Why does life exist?
Life is a work of art. The purpose of art is to be beautiful. It is not utilitarian - it is not required to have any justification of it's form other than pleasing the senses.
The biological aspects of life - the mundane - are only requirements for the art to stand - it is like the metal girding inside a delicate statue.
Where does the beauty of life come from? In the delicate balance of all it's parts. Life is beautiful in and of itself because of the internal balance it provides. Sometimes it is vicious - the she-lion killing and eating the gazelle. But look at the lines of the lion - the rippling muscles, the focus of purpose - look at the power and grace of the gazelle. Marvel at the dance of life that allows the sun to feed the grasses that they run through - that the gazelle eats and makes part of it's body - that fuels it's lifeblood as it runs - that becomes the nourishment of the lion - that when it dies becomes the nourishment of the lowest of animals - and returns it all to the soil - from where the grass spouts - which they run through.
The purpose of life is to be beautiful. If it were all pleasant - all the happy smile of a child in a painting - then it would lack the depth of beauty that is possible - the beauty of an enigmatic smirk or a sideways glance. Without dark, how can you know what light truly is?
Whenever I have thought about my inner composition and what I was good at, I always come up with the fact that I can admire beauty. So what does applying this theory - that the purpose of life is to be beautiful - mean when applied to humans? We fight wars amongst ourselves - is this the dark side of beauty? Is man breaking the natural beauty of life's system?
Is man able to bring unknown beauty to the world, but also have the power to destroy the beauty that already exists?
If I accept all things as beautiful - the bright orange and turquoise of strip-mine runoff - what does that imply for my purpose?

In summary this excerpt says "yes, there is no real reason for life to exist - so it's purpose is that of art - to be beautiful". Your thoughts?

A Working Definition

As prompted, here is my current best statement of purpose (no crying yet):

My true purpose in life is to create and embody systems that allow anyone to live exceptionally.

Pretty condensed and to the point... Let me walk you through what's behind it.

In general, I believe that if a person desires (and is willing to pursue) an exceptional life, then they should have access to the means to make it happen. I'm brainstorming different words than "exceptional" to convey my exact connotation, but basically I mean a "well" life - a happy one - orders of magnitude more enjoyable and fulfilling than that experienced by those on autopilot. You see people everywhere *dragging* themselves through their day. Choked by a necktie, grinding through life in a man-made jungle, becoming pale under the flicker of florescent tubes.

If someone wants to reach their full potential of happiness and fulfillment (they want to rise with a spring in their step and a smile on their face) then in today's age they should have the means - regardless of who they are or where they currently are.

There is a lack of resources to enable someone to live well. There is a need for something more than generalities, quick fixes, and consulting services. What is required is a system. A system is composed of resources and processes - it provides a structured means to achieving a goal. Resources could be reference information or stores offering specialized goods. Processes are documented, step-by-step instructions on how to do something. A process, as with all things, is never perfect (and may be pretty far off base) but it is powerful because it allows you to tweak and experiment with what you do in order to make improvements over time.

I am an architect and a creative person, so I envision myself designing these systems to enable people. The word that struck a chord with me was "create". The act of creation is engaging and fulfilling - it really captured the emotion I was feeling. It is my nature to be creative - it was what I was born to do.

Unfortunately, isolated ideas lack even the force of a Martian wind - they are insubstantial. In order for ideas to make a difference they need to be implemented - made real. I chose the word "embodied". It connotes bringing the ideas into physical reality and "having something to show for them". It also implies that I myself will live the ideas - that I will enable my life to become what I dream it to be. This resolved the debate of "should my purpose be to better myself, or to altruistically devote myself to helping my fellow humans?"... it was not a win-lose decision anymore.

Throughout this process I have been wary of becoming like the get-rich-quick guru that tells you how to make a fortune - when he himself got rich by telling people how to get rich. I don't want to come up with "my purpose is to help people find their purpose". That is ridiculous - what insight would I truly have to offer into other people's struggle for purpose? Instead my working purpose statement aims at creating the tools to allow a person who has set a goal to reach it.

That last thought has put my thinking down a different siding - back to free-writing for a bit to explore the implications :)

Random Holiday Shopping Tip

It was brought to my attention that there is something called Amazon Prime Club which you join for $75 / year. You get unlimited free 2 day express shipping ($3.99 overnight), no minimum orders (as in, ship each item separate and your new laptop won't be held up while they back-order your florescent green post-its in the shape of a palm tree), and the ability to share with 4 accounts in the same household. I don't use it, and it may be a bit late for this season, but useful looking none the less. And maybe that overnight shipping could come in handy for this season ;)

It's got what plants crave

There is a pop culture god and he has answered my prayers. In case I haven't mentioned it yet, one of the foremost influences in my life when I think about the future is the movie Idiocracy. If you find my blog at all amusing and have yet to see this movie, stop. Step away from your computer (or overly complicated telecommunications device of choice) and go rent this movie.

Yes, you will laugh. But you will also develop a serious fear for the future of humanity. And you will want to have a kid - or 4 - just to win the breeding war. Confused? You shouldn't be, because if you have yet to see the movie I have already instructed you to drop everything and go see it.

It will give you an appreciation for the value of global education - and a slight aversion to ubiquitous advertising.

Like say TV ads on my orange:


Or on parking lot lines:

Method to Finding Purpose

There as many things to talk about - I feel the perfectionist need to present them in an orderly fashion, but so often "hold of for now" becomes "hold off forever"... To avoid this - I'll post as things come up, but I know my short term goal is to find my true purpose in life - so I will focus on that topic of discussion. We can talk about diet and sleeping after the new year.

It has been asked how I am pursuing the discovery of my true purpose. First and foremost, I set a clear goal - and time line. Then, to create external motivational pressure, I announced my intentions to my friends - and potentially the world via this blog. Not only that, but it allows me to gather input from others about purpose. It makes for a great topic of conversation / way of getting to know someone / personal motivator. Writing to this blog serves another purpose as well. It is an extension of my broader practice of writing for at least an hour a day on purpose and the evaluation of myself.

The one technique that I use offline is an exercise suggested by Steve Pavlina. It is very basic - involving free-writing to answer the question "What is my true purpose in life?" and simply continuing to write until you cry. Now, I don't know if I will be driven to tears by my final answer, but I know the true answer will toll a deep resonance within me. I have had many statements come from this writing that were candidates for my true purpose, but I found that I often could not effortlessly remember what they were hours later. I realize that my real answer will be immediately rememberable. That is the challenge to this method. You feel like you have a breakthrough - it feels like the ultimate answer, but maybe a day later, you have a hard time remembering exactly what it was your epiphany was. That information isn't lost - it is incorporated into your realm of knowledge, but it isn't the "one true answer". So you must drive yourself to keep going - to keep writing. There is one phrase that has stuck with me in memory - but it hasn't transformed my outlook - and no tears. I think I'm in the ballpark of my statement of purpose, but I have to push forward and dig deeper.

My approach boils down to clear focus on my goal of finding my purpose and brute-force writing until I run out of false words and finally let slip the real answer. As I go I also find new angles to approach the writing from - such as listing my strengths, or everything I "like", or "If I had no limitations whatsoever, what kind of life would I have".

Time to depart for now... Later today I will take a step back and explain what identifying your true purpose means and _why_ one should bother in the first place.

Womp womp womp

Why you shouldn't stay sober at a bar.

Finally, an already-eaten ghost that looks appropriately sad!

Where, oh where have I been?

It's interesting that my post from Dec. 1st is a sunset. Really, on a cold day how do you tell the difference between it and a sunrise?

I've been doing a thing or two since Dec. 1st. I just finished losing the 30 lbs I said I would. I can attribute the last few pounds at least to a vegetarian diet (yeah, that's new too). Unfortunately, I can also attribute some of it to loss of muscle (I hear it weighs more) - so I am exercising now (new again). I am even getting up at 5:30 every day and sleeping less by going polyphasic (I qualify because I take 2 naps instead of one). My focus on sleep has been helped by quitting caffeine and alcohol.

But there is one other little thing I am working on - which caused the recent silence in posts. I am figuring out my true life purpose by the end of the year. I'm confident in success, but time is understandably short. I am writing my way through exercises, but once you start digging on a subject like that you fall right in - no time to clean it up for audiences. Although I did feel guilty enough to leave comments on Speroni's blog (note to self - put him on a link section, as he has been kind enough to do).

So what comes next? Well, I am going to expand the scope of the blog into more traditional areas. I will use it to discuss thoughts on purpose and the order of life.
You know, I think I will add posting daily to the list of habits I am cultivating. It will teach consistent action - even in the face of imperfection. Some may be surprised that I have a serious side - but worry not, the more important something is, the more amusing it can be.

I have to warn you about a conflict though - another of the habits I am cultivating is to not talk about myself. It recently came to my attention that a vast majority of conversations involve one person waiting for the other to finish talking so that they may tell a related story from their life. I have yet to put my finger squarely on the positive rush you get from talking about yourself and your experiences, but it is a near-universal sensation. Thus, I have made it a habit (in addition to cultivating better speaking skills such as dropping "umms") to not tell my stories - and even to move away from couching statements with "I think" or "I can see" or "in my opinion". Of course it's your opinion - that should be assumed.

This is an exception to that habit, because it is squarely within common use of blogs to talk all about yourself. Endlessly. That's kinda their purpose. Originally I shied away from this - that is why it was a photoblog. I wanted to provide content - in the way of humor - not another "blog about what my cat did". I would continue with this philosophy even now were it not for two things. One, I would like your input on my thoughts. Part of my search strategy is to listen (really listen, as best I can) to other people. As I bring up topics, I would value your sincere input. Two, this dialog on purpose and experiences I am having will hopefully be informative to you. It is my hope that I can share all the tips I find on how to "live well" - and that some will be useful.

Living well involves a lot of things, foremost among them is living happy. Maybe we can learn to live happy together.

You have a drinking problem if...

"Oh noooo!"

In case of emergency...

Hard knock half-life

It's a rough neighborhood down the street from the lan gaming shop.

Poor planning...

At the Ogo exit.

Christmas Tree Hunting

On a cold winter day... We have hunted and gathered!

Drunk Truckers

Crap, not again...

Puns

Here is a great collection of puns I was forwarded. Let this be a lesson, if your content is good enough, I don't need my karma threatened to forward it on to people (unbelievably, telling me that god will love me if I forward an email to 9 friends is not a huge motivator). Without further ado.

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• The bicycle couldn't stand alone; it was two tired.
• It makes me realize that the things that make English difficult are the things that make it funny.
• A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
• He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• A calendar's days are numbered.
• He had a photographic memory which he never developed.
• When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
• If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Irony?

Every year Hess gas stations come out with a toy truck for the holidays. So many years it was a tanker truck of one vintage or the other. There was a space shuttle flatbed, a firetruck (as I remember), there was even a helicopter in more recent times.

So this year, as oil flirts with $100 a barrel, what did they decide to have as the truck this year? A tanker? A bus (as in "mass transit fights terrorism")? No, they wanted to make a stronger statement than that...

Is this some sort of insidious campaign to say "don't worry"? Kind of like "sure you get nosebleeds when you snort my coke, but they are good for you!". Are they mocking me? Are they saying "we can slap you in the face and you will still give us your money" ($30+ in this case)?

I don't think so. In my world, Hess is actually making a better statement than selling any model of a prototype hybrid tractor-trailer. Nay; they are rubbing our over-consuming, plastic-surgery-tailored American noses in the real problem. It doesn't take a cryptographer to read "drive useless big gas guzzlers, prices increase, you do the math" (that's top to bottom - the Japanese convention... who are one group of people laughing their way to the bank in their Prius).

Am I preaching? No - I get 26 MPG. But I am laughing at the irony.

The parking lot

Things you will find in an Upstate Walmart parking lot.

Seagulls. Yes, the nearest ocean is 300 miles away.

Abandoned vehicles. I told you about this one... Note the flat tire and missing license plate. You don't even want to know what's in the trunk.

Texroad Asshouse

Exhibit A:

If it doesn't say Texas, it's not Texas Roadhouse.

Exhibit B:

TEX ROADHOUSE

I rest my case.

Our local Texas Roadhouse has a bit of an issue with their neon sign - always have. Right after it opened (as I may already have mentioned) the problem became apparent. Each half of the sign was on a different circuit. This meant, that one side of the sign went from "TEXAS ROADHOUSE" to "TEX ROAD" and the other side became "AS HOUSE".

This was the source of endless amusement... and they have yet to get the kinks worked out. After many iterations, it is as the picture shows. Only, now I am aware that the malfunctioning sign has actually caused the restaurant to not exist - according to their own rules.

Half my shopping list! (take 2)

Point me to the chicken and deep fryer sections. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Half my shopping list!

Gibberish

I love technology, let's try again...

The tale of a barcode reader

He never had a chance, having been written off at a younge age. His subsequent crime spree is a testament to the power of labelling.

In the gay bar

This place is great...

Determinism

Say hypothetically that you are an Atheist... you may think you have it kind of hard because you have to deal with not having an afterlife. Well, as this video explains (more succinctly than I ever could) there is something much stickier to deal with: Determinism.
It is discussed here under the heading of "free will", but the dilemma is the same regardless of the name. And as is pointed out (a new consideration for me) - this may be an issue to consider religion or no.
I do hope the StumbleUpon page loads correctly. Let me know if it doesn't. Don't know what StumbleUpon is? Well, download it... and you will truly know what it is like to have no free will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hit the Stumble button again.

Umm...

Perlick beer system.

Vending error

I mean, really - who designed these new machines? Who tested the design? It bogles the mind.

Line at the 'video store'

Yes, that is a dollar rental kiosk at the grocery store - neat in and of itself - funny when you add people. "It's about convenience!"

Putting Christ back in Xmas

I'm sure it's commemorating the birth of the holy child. What's that? Jesus wasn't born in December? Then I guess this really is just twisted.

Yep - still here

Great parking space

Livin' in white trash paradice! At least it's for a good cause.

V for Style

How do you think he got his locks so straight?

Glad to see you

Sit on my face.

How my sense of humor works

Having a class canceled is inconvenient, but less so when you know about it well ahead of time.

Oh that can't be healthy.

USDA serving size - half a glance.

I heart tabloids

I did not move these on the rack...

Puzzling

Some would be surprised to know that I found this gem in the parking lot of WalMart. I was at a loss as to what message they were going for. Perhaps some punctuation would alleviate my confusion.

• You are special, Jesus Christ. - meaning "as the only begotten son of our creator, you are one unique guy" or "that water to wine trick - that rocked"


• "You are special." - Jesus Christ - meant as a direct quote from the savior (and despite his easy going manner, JC knew a thing or two about sarcasm)


• You are special, Jesus Christ? - questioning or not believing the first statement


• You are special? Jesus Christ... - an exclamation of utter disbelief that you of all people are to be called special.


• You are special. Jesus Christ. - (the most plausible) an overseas bumpersticker manufacturer wanted something that would sell with the thoughtless masses and came up with "You are special". Upon seeing they had a lot of room left and no budget for clipart, they tossed on another dead-ringer for increasing sales. It barely won out in customer testing to "Pray for peace LINDSAY LOHAN"

And let's not forget - you are unique... just like everyone else.

What's that? Why don't I have something witty to say about the school bus? Well, in that case I CAN UNDERSTAND THE BLOODY POINT! Namely "School's in session - we don't want your minivan on the cover of the newspaper sporting a AAA sticker and the article title 'Vehicular Manslaughter Charged in Case of 4th Grader'."

At the upscale restaurant

Now that's just pretentious. To top it off, it's a conversion.

Please do not touch the TV

At Bobby's Place

My other post is haunted - have this one.

It must be halloween

The van was full.

At the costume shop...

Happy halloween!

Today's Sunset

I never get sick of them.

Errm...

Right - highlighted part aside, note the ad with the muscular man trying to compress a bowling ball into a diamond. Nothing could make this ad ironic, unless of course it was found on the bottom of an article about how exercise may kill you.

Today's Sunset

I stood there in the crisp fall air (a bit of a chill tickling my spine), staring at the infinite shades of blue and wispy pastels - an intense red that makes you wonder if it's the last sunset you'll see. I had just gotten off work and was suddenly filled with the feeling that anything is possible - time is mine to use and mold into any destiny! That's when I realized for the first time - deep down in the core of my being - my camera phone sucks ass in high contrast conditions.

Forgotten Cleft

Rubber band litter plus parking lot equals musical art?

Performance Machine

The body work makes it go faster.

My lawn is a water bed. If that's not amusing I don't know what is.

Choices Choices

"Lift nozzle select fuel type." Any fuel you want so long as it's regular...

Attack of the color sorted M&M's

You may remember my previous post regarding a kiosk for the selection of individually colored M&M's. Well what should I find in a party store on an end-cap? Behold - individually packaged mono-color M&M's.

So what's my hang-up with this? It is this: these are not Starburst candies or Skittles people... M&M's all taste the same! Skittles are even made by the same company as M&M's, but you don't see kiosks so that you can get 4 lbs. of Banana Berry if you so chose. We live in a world where they have eliminated purple Swedish Fish, but you can get M&M's in four shades of blue... Madness. Madness.

Today's Sunset

Make Your Appointment

Sweet - I was planning on getting the flu next week but wasn't sure where.

(and a special shout-out to my phone for putting some of my posts in limbo)

Chinese Buffet

With MSG no longer in the news, the management is dispelling other nasty rumors.

On the Farm

Little did they suspect the dark secret of the petting zoo. But that would be their last oversight.

Lowest Denominator

You dumbass low-budget drug addicts have ruined my life!