Monday, October 20, 2008

Fall Craziness

This Just in: Giant Radioactive Spiders Attack Owego



Yesterday was a lovely fall day to have some classic fall fun. This called for a trip to Iron Kettle Farm - our local purveyor of all things orange and pumpkin-ey. We hit the gas going through Owego as to avoid getting cocooned in our car by massive purple arachnids. This should have brought back memories from last year's trip to Iron Kettle.



In addition to delicious pies, waffle fries, and kettle corn - there were the requisite piles-o-pumpkins. In the picture you can actually see a small child lost among the gourds asking for assistance in finding her family.

Among our purchases were several ears of popcorn - as in "on-the-cob" popcorn. Details may follow when said vegetable is prepared in the Native American tradition - via my microwave.



Among the adventures to be had at the farm - this was the highlight. Being a biker, I looked forward to showing my prowess on these recumbent, single-speed pedal carts. The extreme action shot above captures the spirit of the chase. My own top speed was limited by splaying my legs to avoid the steering wheel, but what was lacking in speed was made up for in paint-swapping. People were sent into the hay bales, knees were bashed, and the faint smell of rubber wafted off scrubbed wheels.

Ultimately, victory was mine as I e-braked my way to the pit - though some site "a little girl hogging the road" as their reason for not taking first. That's just lack of dedication - when it comes to any teenie bopper in my way the story ends with me putting them into the wall.



What better way is there to draw to a close a beautiful Fall day than with a lingering sunset punctuated with a rising planet? A side perk of Winter is that the view from the house just gets better and better.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hi. We're in Newark Valley.


It's not every day you find yourself at a gas station in Newark Valley asking directions to a tourist destination - but that day (err... night) came yesterday. The occasion was our adventure to "the MAiZE" - a labyrinth-meets-art grown into a corn field over the course of the year.

You can catch this wonder until Nov. 1st - and the only way to do it is at night. We wandered around in the dark and cold (note - you can see my breath) for about an hour. I don't know why stumbling around in circles by the light of stars is fun... but it is. And I pay for the privilege. Maybe it's for the snacks.

Perhaps I'll go back to see the "corn cannon" - something from the cartoon that looks like a serious engineering attempt at turning compressed air and a corn cob into siege machinery.

Now if you'll excuse me, my mulled cider is ready ;)

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Last night I realized how much fun Game Nights are. No, not watching a national sport - I mean getting together with friends and playing some classic board games. Throw together people, lots of time, snack food and Apples to Apples and you have an evening of good fun and laughter...

Of course you can also throw together a blowtorch, compressed argon, and gasoline to make A REAL FREAKING FLAMETHROWER!

Our subdued game of Taboo was interrupted when the host "wanted to show us something". We fogged up the window in anticipation only to see him SHOOT FLAMES 40 FEET! Giddy like a school girl that found out Miley Cyrus moved in next door I ran out to be closer to the demonic powers issuing from his home-brewed backpack.

As it turns out, a flamethrower is useful for many things - lighting camp fires, removing leaves from the lawn, and lighting tiki torches. After I stopped hyperventilating I was able to request to pull the trigger myself. I laid a stream of Greek Fire on a tiki torch from 20 feet away that plastered the whole metal torch with lingering flame.

Best. Game. Night. Ever.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Joe the Plumber


Are _you_ the real Joe? Then tell the world! Get your own "I am Joe the Plumber" t-shirt and let everyone know that you are up on current events - just like the presidential candidates! I have a fine selection of items in the store, so take a peek ;)

In case you couldn't tell - today's adventure was watching the last presidential debate. I was totally saturated with fresh cider, having played the "Joe the Plumber drinking game". Drinking on every mention of "Joe the Plumber" would have been bad enough, but there were the advanced rules of "one drink when McCain blinks out S.O.S." and "one drink when Obama smiles as McCain speaks" or "two drinks if he outright laughs".

My second adventure was getting into online merchandising. The fact is I have often lamented not following through on my ideas for humorous shirts and paraphernalia. Such ideas include a small bumpersticker for my bike that says "nice prius." No more will my ideas fad into the fog of history. No more will timely pop culture jokes be left to wither on the vine!

I was so moved by the debates, not only did I set up a CafePress store for frosty moments, but I made sure that everyone will be able to find via joetheplumber.tv!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Is this really a reward?


If I had enemies, I might inflict $500 worth of McDonald's food on them. Found on the web making ad dollars for Woot, an interesting "deal a day" site known for creating the "Woot-Off"...

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Beer fest... I thought I wasn't drinking!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Go Yankees!

I have cracker jacks!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

At the fabric store

Why thank you grandma - it's just what we wanted.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Boardwalk

Ocean City

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Architecture Lesson

What? I'm sure it's original.

I missed my calling

As a delivery guy...

Pushing the Limit

Setting records. I didn't know I had a fifteen gallon tank! It was also a matter of faith that I could exceed 400 miles on a tank...

Interestingly the car computer says I'm creeping up to 26.4 MPG (up 2/10ths). I wonder if it is my super-mild hyper-miling practice of using neutral to unload the engine when going downhill / at a light. Or perhaps it's because I'm not weighing the car down on the return trip home ;)

On a side note, there is debate over potentially mandating cars to have a real-time MPG display (basic car comp like mine or a spiffy fuel consumption display like the Prius). I'm currently of the opinion that it is a very low cost implementation that can only help. About the only argument is one of safety - but if you are paying attention to the MPG readout you are most likely to be going slower (because it's more efficient).

And no, I can't believe I linked to About.com either.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Why I Bike Two

Ice cream social - and the pedestrian I asked about it gave me a free ticket!

Chinese

I need a bike rack.

* Editor's note - the above post was captured, composed and uploaded all while riding (with a bag of Chinese food effecting my steering with surprising efficiency) - yeah, I want danger kudos. Hey, some people's danger threshold is different than others.

A nuclear clock

That is off by an hour... I mean _exactly_ an hour. To the second. And if for some reason you adjust it using your puny human levels of accuracy, it will reset to "current time -1" within the hour.

I spent my time waiting for my order of food explaining to a family member of the owner why exactly I was taking a picture - and where I was sending it to.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Billy is selling something new

Would you buy health insurance from this man?

Yes my friends, that's right - Billy Mays is selling life insurance. He actually beat SNL to the punch on a skit... I would claim to be at a loss as to how much lower he could go, but I hear the Vatican is in talks with his agent over slumping membership numbers.
Billy Mays here - have you washed and washed, but still can't get that original sin out... well I'm here to tell you about an amazing product called Catholicism!

Wacky Chad dot Com


RE: my discussion below here is self-proclamed Wacky Chad in full action. Yes, those are three flaming torches he is juggling. Yes, he is mounted on a seven foot tall unicycle. No, I didn't know they existed either. His previous unicycle was only five feet tall... how mundane.

I debated making you type in his URL if you were curious - or perhaps scroll down a few virtual inches - but far be it from me to expose your wrists or mouse wheel finger to repetitive stress injuries just because I was too lazy to throw in some markup...

Why I Bike

Random guys on super pogo sticks...

Actually, that is a Flybar 800 - with 800 lbs of lift in it's elastic - that's four feet of vertical for you average weight people... It's no Flybar 1200, but this is Wacky Chad one hop away from doing a backflip - with his pogo stick. Yeah, you heard me. For the unimaginative ones in the audience, flip your monitor over to get the idea.

The story is this - I'm riding my usual route home from work, and I decide to try and find a less hectic route through Endicott than Main Street. This was a novel idea to me because I was afflicted with driver's syndrome (the inability to go anywhere except by the fastest route, regardless of distance and scenery). I'm getting cured of that. Next thing you know I'll be swapping my handlebars and riding upright like some sort of Dutchman. But I digress.

And so I did digress from my normal route - cutting up a street before Washington, looking for a residential pace instead of drag-racing cars in a 40 MPH zone. No sooner do I turn but there is a crowd of children in front of the library. You can recognize "street performers" in under a second flat so I pulled up to give a gander. What I found was a summer's evening treat of entertainment! All because I was biking along.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

At Dick's

Good (lawn) seats at the Hootie concert...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

White Hairs

The diverse crowd at the pops concert...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Softball's ending


You know it's raining well if the drops are big enough to show up on my cameraphone. Incidentally, I later found the end of that rainbow - for the first time in my life it was ten feet away from me! My how everyone got drenched - but the beauty is, you always dry out... my message for today to America is - don't fear getting wet, you may have fun, get exercise, or find gold. (decreasing order of certainty)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Beach Hammock

It's huge! But the near pole isn't secure... Guess how I know.

Insert Dollar

I had no idea it was that easy!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Wine Country

You have to love it! (yes, even sober)

Friday, May 30, 2008

Memo to self

I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

How convenient that this bike was there to let me remember the song, which gave me a chance to see the video. You want to talk about a hook that will get stuck in your head...

As a side note, I was a bit disappointed to note the bike in the video has handlebars.

Friday, May 23, 2008

BSD

Why real cars don't drive by wire on windows

64 Lanes of Fury

As far as the eye can see... Note the little futuristic podiums used for data entry. Nice design, but inferior blister keyboard material (for the manufacturer when he stops by).

Brilliance at the bowling alley


If you are rude about it, we will give espresso to the puppy too (yeah, you might want to turn off your sound for that annoying website).

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Welcome to Florida

Palm trees - check.

Cars Available

By "cars" they mean seventeen minivans and a Kia - singular.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

T-shirt double feature

Her ass says "There are rules to this game". Indeed...

Well Played

Sometimes you can spot the talented ones young...

Friday, May 16, 2008

NASCAR


Official Chocolate Bar of NASCAR

You can tell your are watching a "sport" when they have official merchandise like this. Granted, even extremely physical activities are sponsored by beer companies - and that says something about you, the fan. And well, I guess Snickers is saying something about the fans too. Hmm - I wonder what McDonald's sponsors. Oh.

Incidentally, I just saw this on the new SAT: "going to the gym" is to "Olympics" as "commuting" is to "NASCAR"...

And you thought you weren't getting a work-out driving to your job. Who even needs bike to work day?!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sunday, May 11, 2008

No smoking?

I've never been specifically told it's alright not to smoke...

Normally it is much more efficient to list the things I am prohibited from doing, instead of spending the money to tell me what I am permitted to do.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Utica NY

Cultural center of the north...

Friday, May 02, 2008

Heart attack rates are up

I blame amp's "Big Rig"for this.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Class


Sure, some 5 star hotels have a blind guy in the restroom dispensing towels, but you can really judge a place by the urinal cakes they use.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Good to know


Curse you weak digital zoom on my phone! This ever-helpful sign informs the public that "FISH IS BACK". It strikes me as a random message more suited to being scrawled on concrete with spraypaint.

Incidentally, has anyone seen the Zoidberg graffiti on the 17 east-bound drainage ditch (look down and to the right before you hit Apalachin)? It simply has "Mute?" written next to it - a very deep message in my opinion. The picture itself is nice work - considering where we're at. I suppose I'll have to get a picture of it now - even at risk of shutting down "future I-86" with a 22 car pile-up.

"Well you see officer, I have this blog..."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

At the Post Office

What law is that again? Is this Al Gore's doing? Happy tax day!

Party Room


Of all the party rooms, party room four never seemed to be booked with as many birthdays as rooms one through three...

Monday, April 14, 2008

"Peace, my son - it was the 70's"


The son of god was sent to Earth to forgive all your fashion sins.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Viva Mexico!

A bottle in one hand and a gun in the other. This place is authentic!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Welcome Bowler's


I'm not above typos by any means, but I do go over several times anything I'm committing to a sign. This one caught my attention because of the apostrophe...

I thought, maybe they ran out of budget for the second line of text but no, if they wanted to go for a possessive it would be "Welcome Bowlers' Leagues", would it not?

I wouldn't bat an eye at dropping punctuation on signage, but to go out of your way to put it in - that will make my blog. My blog with all the extra commas and ellipses...

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Expensive Cheese


If this is what is what $55US worth of cheese looks like, I'm sticking to my $3/lb cheddar. I guess I just lack the culture to appreciate it...

This is as seen from an ad on the story about the super-internet. I worry that there is some strong, deep reason for the product placement that I am missing.

In the News

Is there a blogger alive that hasn't drifted out of existence at some point - only to return all apologetic? Perhaps not, but most don't drift away for as long as me.

The truth is, I have been online this entire time - and finally disabled my StumbleUpon toolbar to free up some spare time. This was a short-lived victory since I was introduced to the "steam-punk comic" genre and have since spent every waking moment online reading Girl Genius thank you very much...
As of now, I am caught up and eagerly awaiting Wednesday to get my next fix.

On another note - I have lost my domain name through a process of neglect that I have perfected. It was scooped up by a cyber-squatter company, and I have no hope that it will be available any time soon. Maybe in a year. Maybe never. (shrug)

And to round out this update, I would be remiss to not point you to an article on the future of the internet. It is an intriguing tale from CERN of ultra-fast speeds and the mysterious Higgs Boson. Incidently, the Higgs Boson is proposed to be the reason there is mass, so perhaps if we crack this particle physics question we can finally find a cure for feeling fat! Look for the article headed "Super-Collider Blasts Love Handle Woes"!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

5lbs chocolate bar

Gnome used for scale.